An American Christian Chapter II — The Joneses
The Joneses
I must remind the reader that this is from my perspective, shaped by mine and others’ experiences. The people I mention all have their sides, and it would be unfair of me to make this out to be absolute. I do not know the depths of everyone’s motives or intentions. Given the damage and pain caused to so many, I can’t interpret their words and actions any other way.
Many people have tried to discuss these issues for decades. Each time, they face resistance. There is always a claim that no one reaches out to talk through their grievances, but this is patently false.
They have made a conscious choice to be harmful, believing they are doing God’s work. Just like every other cult.
All names have been changed and replaced with pseudonyms.
If you haven’t read Chapter I yet, please start here.
I want to introduce you to the Joneses. They are a family that has devoted their lives to ministry and Christian service. A family born and bred to create fiduciary relationships, manipulate, control, and subjugate their followers. It wasn’t due to inherent evil. They believed their actions were righteous.
The pastor and his wife, Ben and Beth Jones, led the church, and all five of their children eventually assumed leadership roles within the congregation. Most now continue to serve in new roles at a Texas church, pastored by the eldest son. They have thrived on nepotism.
Lauren was the oldest daughter and the Church’s worship leader. Devon, the oldest son, was an abject bully who could do no wrong in the eyes of his parents. Raymond, the middle child and most comfortable to be around, was my friend for a long time. There was also Karen, the difficult one, and Lauren’s clone. And there was Willow, the baby and future rebel (she got a tattoo). I was a year older than Raymond and three years younger than Devon. Lauren had another two years on top of that, and Karen and Willow sort of existed in my world. The boys learned to embrace competition and exhibit excessive, toxic masculinity. The girls learned to be skinny and subservient.
Lauren Jones
Lauren was kind, boisterous, and wore a lasting smile. She became the worship leader at First AG when she was still a teenager and was the envy of all the other girls. She drew most of the guys’ attention and turned down many proposals, both for courtship and marriage—something Ben took care of for her on a regular basis.
Lauren was always modest, always a lady. She played piano and taught an etiquette class when she was a leader in Master’s Commission. Her appearance was a priority, and she was never without makeup. She and her sisters were always to look pretty, exude relentless positivity, and never make a scene.
In the early 2000s, she was in a pseudo-long-distance relationship with a man who used to work at the Church (they wrote letters for a bit). Years after my departure, he confided in me. Ben, her father, had pulled him aside. He told him that his daughter would never pleasure him with her mouth.* The man had no response, because who would? It didn’t pan out.
*I cannot verify the validity of this story as I wasn’t there. Knowing the source, however, I feel that there is truth to it. I’m only relaying what I was told, not stating it as fact.
Devon Jones
Devon will come up a lot as this series progresses for several reasons, primarily because he was the loudest and at the helm for most of the abuse and truculent behavior. Devon is one of the most competitive people I’ve ever met, a quality Ben instilled in both of his sons. He was obsessed with two physical characteristics: his height and hair. Ben had been bald since his marriage to Beth, and if you looked at their family history, Beth’s father was also bald. Devon took every precaution to keep his hair, but in the end, his brother was the one who lost it all, which he accepted with charm.
Devon was very self-conscious about his height. While his peers were at least 6'1", he was only 5'9". To compensate, he worked out incessantly, building muscle and showing it off. He seized every opportunity to remove his shirt and display his progress. Obsessed with his abs, he did over 1,000 sit-ups daily but never achieved the desired definition. His gym time was second only to his ministry. Devon’s passion for God and *prophecy was intense. He spent hours in prayer and study, writing sermons and prophecies. His focus and dedication were remarkable.
*Prophecy is highly subjective and rarely accurate. When things come true, Evangelicals hail the word as proof of God. When it’s false, they say God is mysterious, or the prophet must have misinterpreted Him. “People are fallible, and God is never wrong.” Prophetic words are often extraordinarily vague or a broad translation of what “God is feeling” about a situation. It is often called a Word of Wisdom, or more colloquially a Word. In reality, they’re nothing more than a mix of intuition and guesswork. Similar to how a Mentalist works.
I’ve watched Devon rage at more sporting activities than I care to mention. During my third year in MC, our entire team would go to the gym once a week to play wallyball. It was a highlight for almost everyone and at least a break for the rest. We all got a chance to relax a bit and play a dumb game. Teams changed each time. Some, like Devon, wanted to win. The rest of us just wanted to hit the ball. Since we were all broken down into teams of four, we would play short games on different courts and switch off when the game ended. The schedule had us playing for 90 minutes at the end of our day before going home.
On one particular outing, my team was on a roll. We had won every game that day and were loving it. We had already beaten Devon’s team twice, which didn’t sit well with him. He thought we were becoming “prideful” and felt it necessary to teach us a spiritual lesson. So, he made us stay late and keep playing until we finally lost. Every team took their turn against us, and we played on without a break until exhaustion caught up with us and we lost. Devon then came in and told us, “See, you aren’t so great, after all.” We were never allowed to all be on the same team again. His pettiness cost everyone an extra 40-odd minutes of their already brutally long day, and no one left that gym feeling good. Raymond’s team had been the one to beat us, and he seemed just as happy about it as Devon.
Competition, friendly or otherwise (mostly otherwise), was at the core of the Jones Boys. There was no room for anything else. They were not content allowing someone to be better. Ever. I tell this story to help give you an understanding of Devon’s pettiness. As these articles go on, it will help provide context to many of the issues I bring up.
Ben Jones
Ben Jones is a man who appears to be a trusting shoulder to lean on, but only as long as you have something to offer him. His friendships are based on a simple trade: you give, he takes. As long as you’re providing something, he’s happy to take it. But when the tables turn, his availability quickly disappears.
He infamously shot and killed his neighbor’s cat, an incident that landed in the local paper and sparked a lawsuit. From the pulpit, he has used the deeply offensive term “mongoloid” to describe people with special needs. He has also told his congregation that those driving beat-up cars shouldn’t display the Jesus Fish, as it reflects poorly on the Gospel. Moreover, he has publicly badmouthed people after they shared personal struggles with him. When faced with criticism, he deflects it by accusing his critics of abandoning their faith.
One night, after a Master’s Commission Dinner theater, Ben urged his son Devon and a few MC students to confront some drunk wedding guests from across the street. He told Devon, quote “Don’t be a wuss”, then quickly locked himself back inside the church before the fight started, refusing to call the authorities, who were just a block away.
Beth Jones
Beth Jones is perhaps one of the most outwardly kind people I’ve ever known. She has a very warm and motherly personality, so much so that while I was in the program, I started referring to her as my semi-mom.
Beth, unfortunately, went in fully with whatever Ben and Devon said. Considering their adherence to patriarchy in the Jones family, it’s not at all surprising that she often shifted her ideals to those of her husband and son, even when she openly disagreed. Talking to Beth always made me feel safe. She made me feel like I wasn’t a horrible person, generally after being berated by her son. I honestly wish I could have trusted her more.
Her unrelenting fastidiousness to purity culture went as far as shaming victims of sexual misconduct and assault, simply because of how they dressed, spoke, or looked. Mind you; this was of women in the church who already adhered to the ideals of purity culture. Beth’s email had the words “courtshipqueen” embedded in it, and she was, without a doubt, one of the strongest proponents of courtship and purity culture within our church.
The Joneses gave the appearance of the perfect family. Considering how well they all still get along, I suppose there’s some truth to their life. Unfortunately, a lot of that is posturing. Because they were supposed to be the model Christian family, they did their best to pretend they were. They bragged about never having to struggle with specific issues, took pride in being over-compensated for something of little value, and primarily cared about what others thought of them. Wealth slowly became essential, and they began to subtly turn their nose up at others who weren’t as well off. They were just “blessed” more than most because they believed they were doing things right, which made them closer to God.
As the kids got older, there was a shift in priorities to wealth management, politics, golf, social circles, privileged information, gossip, and power. It was never enough to be in a leadership position within the Church; there needed to be domination. They needed people to rely on them and ask for counsel or advice. Most of all, they needed people to be under their “spiritual authority.” Spiritual authority is the catalyst used not only by the Joneses but by most Evangelical leaders in America today. This cop-out allows for unchecked abuse in God’s name simply because of a position held in a non-profit organization.
Right now, as I’m typing, I saw a social media post from one of them lamenting about how they’re being slandered, but they’re not letting it bother them. This mentality is a common theme in the Jones family. Everyone is out to get them, but “It’s only because those people are hurt and bitter. They just need forgiveness.” They fail to understand and reflect on why someone might feel hurt and bitter. I’m aware that they’ll read this post and, as they often do, take to their pulpits or social media to declare how broken I am, without stopping to consider why. They’ve stalked my family and friends in the past, and I’m sure they’ll do it again. And yes, “stalked” is the appropriate word.
I’m sure this will be read. Someone will try to reach me and my associates. But, it won’t be to understand. It will be to silence us. They will not be able to discern that I’m not bitter towards them but am working out the damage done to me. They will not understand that I care for them as people, but disagree with how they treat others. They will only see what I’m writing as an attack. I’m saddened by this conclusion because it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m not trying to cancel them; I’m trying to describe the mental, spiritual, and sometimes physical abuse they propagate.
Despite my stories, it is crucial to understand that the Joneses are not monsters. They are not the Trump family, not even by a degree. I’m not trying to demonize them, but as I mentioned at the top of the post, I’m not going to shy away from sharing past experiences. I don’t believe myself to be a morally superior person in any way. I continually muck things up, and my only solace is that when I realize it or it’s brought to my attention, I do my best not to make the same mistake.
I recently heard Devon describe how he handles criticism. He mentioned that there’s a truth in all of it, even if he disagrees. Yet, he also said that you have to look at “the fruit” of a person before receiving their criticism. I’m afraid that’s a poor way to perceive anything. Leaving Christian jargon aside, if we only changed our views based on how righteous we think our critics are, the world would have fallen apart long ago. It’s on fire now because people stultify critics who don’t already think like them. You cannot expect to change if you surround yourself with sycophants and those who have the same perspective as you.
I don’t have much more to say about the Joneses in this part, so I’ll share one more anecdote before you move on to the next chapter.
On my 20th birthday, my mom told me she and my dad were separating. It was my second year of Master’s Commission, and I was already in the midst of the most hellish and unyielding period of my life. I was torn. I knew it was a long time coming, but it still hit hard. I lived at home during my MC years, and not having a place to escape made me feel trapped. I told the two male leaders, Devon and Noah, what was happening and how troubled I was. I vividly recall Devon telling me that I had to fight it and that my parents should be seeing me as an example. I was told I didn’t need time to deal with it; I needed to pray.
Pastor Ben was mediating all of this with my parents, telling my Father one thing and my mother another. My father was directed to let my mother take her time in a trial separation and to not reach out to her, no matter what. On the other hand, my mother was told that my father would reach out to her if he cared. After six months, my mother filed for divorce and told my father that he would have reached out if he really cared.
Why Ben did this is beyond me.
Other issues arose, none of them good. I watched my father fall utterly apart. I watched him cry himself to sleep. I watched him suffer brutal panic attacks. I watched my mother, confused by all of it, completely separate herself from the Church while navigating her new life. I soon found out that she had been having an affair with a co-worker. Two years later, she died of a clogged artery from an elective surgery.
Through all the hell I went through during that period, Devon and Raymond were the first ones to show up at the emergency room, ready to give me a hug.
This continues in An American Christian III and IV in a two-part overview of the Master’s Commission Program created by Joneses.
